Sunday, July 18, 2010

Celebrating a beautiful life..

It is 01.29am here in Sydney as I start this post. In just one minute the service in Marija's name commences at St Jerome Croatian Catholic Church, in Chicago. By the time the post is finished, so will the service be..

The house is asleep but I have stayed awake specially to honour Marija's memory and to send loving thoughts to her family and friends. I have no doubt the church will be full of love and beautiful memories, that the service will be worthy, serene and peaceful. There will be tears no doubt, lots of tears falling because we have lost a beautiful person who touched so many people in the world.


My children were home when I read Cory's remarkable and sad tribute to his wife, and they rushed to my side when they heard me get so upset. Oscar, my sweet and wise 7 year old, said 'Mamma, when people die they don't disappear. Marija will be by your side for ever because she is your friend!'. And tonight when I tucked him in and sat on his bedside he looked all cheeky and said 'Mamma, I hope Marija isn't sitting on top of me now because you are sitting on the edge of my bed and there is no room for her there!'. It made me smile and think that children have the best way of viewing life!


Oscar is so right. Of course Marija is still with us. She has merely transformed into a boundless spirit that will for ever stay close to those she loved. Her warm, witty, caring and insightful personality has left a strong impression that for me will remain in my heart always. To have been Marija's friend makes me feel proud and honoured, and I will be forever grateful for the time we had.


More than anything right now, I picture Marija with her father Joseph. A man whom she spoke so tenderly & beautifully about, and whom she loved and missed very much! I picture her now with his arm around her shoulders watching over her beloved family and friends, making sure everyone is and will be ok. Reassuring us that all will be well and that life must continue despite our sadness & pain.


Though the week has passed in numbing shock and sadness, it has also been a time that has strengthened the wonderful friendships that have been built here in the 'blog world'. Countless tributes to our beautiful Marija have united us in our grief. Emails with love and support have been exchanged between us, her friends who are scattered all over the world, and I for one have once again come to realise just how much you guys mean to me and how important you all are! So for that I want this post to be not only a final tribute to our dear friend Marija, but also celebration of the friendships that have sprung in this virtual world that is both tangible and very real.


To be honest I have had no inspiration or energy to blog this week, and this post is not easy for me to write. I have had to stop and breathe deeply a few times, but am determined to push through and keep on writing. I owe it to Marija to embrace the good she brought to my life and to continue blogging & building the friendships that make it so worthwhile. So this here is my first very small step into a future that now feels new and fragile, but at the same time also full of powerful realisations and gratefulness.  I count my blessings and know I how very fortunate I am to have so much and so many in my life!



Tomorrow marks the day I will draw a name out of a hat to reveal the winner of my 'High Tea book give-away' and it feels good to know that such a small gesture will make someone happy. That reading my blog makes someone happy. All of that means the world to me, and as I say in my introduction at the top left of this blog: "I live my life with the aim to generate and pass on as much positive energy as I possibly can". I do it for me, for you, for my family and for our dear Marija. May she rest in peace..

Biggest hugs and love to you all.

xx Charlotta

40 comments:

Beadboard UpCountry said...

Charlotta,
Another beautiful tribute to Marija. I, unlike you, didn't have the close connection but we commented on each others blogs, only once or twice. I think you, being in Sydney, kept on top of this as a self appointed blogging spokesperson. I want to personally thank you for your efforts in keeping us informed... But I think this has taken it's toll on you....Take a break now you've done all you can do. Clear your head and know you did everything you could and Marija would be happy......xo Maryanne

Linda Merrill said...

Hi Charlotta - this was a beautiful and loving tribute and I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. I didn't know Marija but I do know how much I missed out. I think the blogging world is an amazing community and the internet has made the world seem very small. And yet, we all are still great distances from one another, which can make moments such as this feel almost harder in our desire to reach out and offer a hug. But it's there in spirit.

Stacey said...

Marija would have loved this post. You did her great justice and i'm happy you were strong and brave enough to complete it. It was very moving. Sending tons of positive energy your way...
xo

Sarah B said...

A beautiful post. Your son's words were lovely. I like the wy children think - they have such insight. Take care, Sarah

Kathysue said...

Charlotta, what a beautiful and touching post. I have been away for a couple of days due to health issues with my Mom. I thought of Marija and how fragile life can sometimes be. I also thought of how sad today is for her beautiful family to say their final good bye to her. I know she will always be with them because love never dies, its gift keeps on giving through out the generations. She touched us all in a beautiful and lasting way. I am with you and her family in thought today, Kathysue

Beach Vintage said...

Dear Charlotta, thinking of you in these hard times. Life is seldom fair my friend. Thanks so much for dropping by Beach Vintage. Hope to see you again soon.

anita @ a dreamer's den said...

Yes, Charlotta, reading your blog makes me happy.
I am so so sorry for your loss.

Concrete Jungle said...

Just remember and always celebrate. Listen to the children.

A Perfect Gray said...

beautiful, Charlotta. I can always count on you to say so beautifully what I feel.

Love to you. Donna

Carissa said...

Such a beautiful post Charlotta. A beautiful tribute to such a wonderful person x

My Notting Hill said...

Charlotta - I will echo the comments here - this was a beautiful post and tribute to Marija. The picture of the heart shaped clouds with the light behind it is uplifting.

s a n s k u :) said...

so, so, so hard to say goodbye to those we love. but wouldn't it be terrible if we didn't love people enough to miss them so?
you WILL see her again. in a better place. but until then - it does suck, doesn't it...
i was a basketcase after losing our cat. i can't even imagine what it's like after saying goodbye to a dear friend. my thoughts are with you. hugs! <3

SPLENDEROSA said...

You know I always read your posts, but it's Saturday night in Texas, & I've only just seen this. Your words touch me deeply, Charlotta. I completely agree with you how we are able to form connections via the web that are substantial relationships. Catherine emailed me immediately when she read Cory's post, we sobbed via email back & forth. We cryed for Marija, then for Cory & the children, & finally we cried for ourselves having lost this lovely young woman from our world. She is truly gone too soon. Let us remember each day how very precious our time is. We don't have time for anything but loving & caring. This was a tragic reminder to all of us.
sending love, my precious C.

Terri said...

Charlotta - I've been thinking a lot about you, Marija's family & friends this week. I never had the chance to get to know Marija and for that I am truly sorry. Your tribute is beautiful.

Cath said...

Another moving tribute Charlotta. Gone, but not forgotten. Like many, this news has made me stop and take stock somewhat, life is so fleeting and precious. I hope you are enjoying a restful Sunday with your lovely family.

X Cath

Kellie Collis said...

Sorry to hear your sad new Charlotta. Thinking of you x

harem6 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
harem6 said...

We are so sorry for your loss,dear Charlotta! This post is such a wonderful tribute to your dear friend...The first picture makes us wish and pray that she is in a better place! Our thoughts are with you!

Mary Ann said...

Hello Charlotta, the sudden loss of Marija has certainly shaken the blogging community. This is such a great tribute, this says a lot about what a good friend and a person you are. Hope you will find the comfort in your home and most of all from our Lord. Have a restful weekend...verbena cottae

ilovemyhouse said...

Beautiful post for Marija. I didn't know her but was so so schocked about the sad news. Last night i talked with my parents and husband about her. You see, she's in everyone's hearts, even the ones that didn't get to know her. XX

Tina said...

Everything you have written is so very true and beautiful!
Take good care of you!
Everything little thing is gonna be alright!
Lots of love and support!
//Tina

The Zhush said...

This was so uplifting and touching Charlotta. You really have a gift for words and expression that I admire so much. Positive energy, yes....feeling it all the way on the other side of the world. Beautiful.

Kerry said...

That was truly lovely and beautifully illustrated as I have come to expect whenever you blog. I hope you're feeling better very soon. Go give those kids a hug x

Splendid Willow said...

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. Marija sure did. And missed she is.

Thank you for all the beauty for the heart & soul, dear Charlotta.

Love, Mon

Shaz said...

Hi Charlotta, Have just found you blog - it is beautiful.

So very sad for Marija's family. It makes you realise how precious life is.

I will visit back often.

jules @ The Diversion Project said...

Lovely post Charlotta, I was thinking of hte service yesterday too. Still so very sad, but i love your positive words. jx

Style Attic said...

Lovely way to see yourself, your friendship with Marija and all your followers through. I am glad we have chit chatted a bit through email and I feel so close for being so far away. Not all our money could ever buy back this day, so thank you for helping to make it golden. Big hug, Kel

Vitania said...

Hi Charlotta,
Your words are really lovely - and I am so glad you pushed through to write them - I know it wasn't easy. I didn't get the chance to get to know Marija, but I know the power of friendship be it next door, or in the blogosphere. Her husband's Cory message was really touching and my thoughts and prayers are with him, her beautiful children, and all the people she touched.

a big hug for you my dear
Vitania

Design Esquire said...

What a beautiful post. I still can't believe it either. I was driving to a baby shower on Saturday when the funeral was taking place, and I thought of her too and tried to send positive thoughts to her family.

Nuit said...

aw Charlotta this was beautifully written! hugs and love your way...

xxo

Kiki said...

Charlotta, I too feel your sentiments. While I was not as close to Marija, I did feel like I was only a eye shot away. See, that's how blogging and this little community makes you feel, and I can only say that her family are in my prayers.

XOXO
kiki

Krystal said...

this was such a lovely piece about her. and your son sounds like he has an amazing heart :)
thanks for your nice comment :)

sara said...

Beautiful words and beautiful photos!

The Shiny Pebble said...

Charlotta, I didn't read tihs post until now. I too have had a really hard time 'blogging' in the past few days since Marija's passing. This was such a lovely tribute so full of emotion and care wordsmithed beautifully with your kind words and big heart. I love you dear friend. And seas and land don't keep kindred spirits from sharing deep friendships. Time and space are also irrelevant when it comes to our souls and Marija is just as much a part of our lives today as when she used words to touch us all.

shari @ little blue deer said...

Lovely and touching, Charlotta. I agree, it felt wrong to keep blogging about fashion and design after I heard about Marija, it just seemed so fluffy and inconsequential. I felt guilty, actually. But I like the idea of her bright spirit surrounding us and filling us with inspiration. Thank you for posting this. XO.

alli/hooray said...

Hi Charlotta,
I'm so sorry you lost a friend. I did not know Marija or her blog, but I can tell she was very much loved by friends + family. My heart truly goes out to them, especially her husband + children.

Heather-Gathering Spriggs said...

charlotta,
i love your blog and your ability to share your heart in such a beautiful and poetic way. your soul is evident in your words and i send you my prayers and sympathies for the loss of your beloved friend.

asia said...

Your words make me appreciate all of the wonderful people and joys I have in my life. I am so sorry for the loss of such a dear friend, but from reading your blog and seeing just a bit of the life you have, I know you are such a strong woman with wonderful friends and family.

From across the world I send you my hugs and kisses.

xoxo,
Asia

Vintage Simple said...

Dearest Charlotta,

I am so saddened by all of this... What a beautiful tribute to a dear friend.

When Noah first experienced the death of a family member, I tried to explain to him, as best I could to a then three year old, that Pop would always be in our hearts. He looked at me, and then put his little curly-haired head to my chest, trying to hear and see Pop in there...

I did not know Marija, but I do know that the friendships that I have made with women in this blog world have been very special - and I can't imagine what you must be going through.

(Now I feel a little silly that I emailed you with my petty wanderings earlier in the week. I should have checked your blog first.)

I am sending you all my love, dear Charlotta. You are a truly special person and I consider myself very lucky to know you, even in this distant (yet close) sort of way.

much love,
-maria

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